Wisdom boat

This weekend my boyfriend and I went to Fairhope, AL to take a few pictures by the bay and window shop downtown. In reviewing these pictures of myself, I see myself becoming older, a twenty year old college student, no longer a child. But am I no longer? 

These thoughts bring me to ponder the idea of wisdom. Solomon asked for it from God, displaying his selfless mind in caring for his kingdom with grace and prudence. He gained this wisdom as promised by God, but then fell away from grace, once the wisest but later facing a divided kingdom after his reign. Children do not have wisdom but are taught how to reason and have their own minds. Now as I face adulthood, I wonder about my own wisdom- the choices I make, the impact I leave, the path I choose. 

Life seems so much greater than it has ever to me now. I am making a future for myself now. All of my deeds define me now. I am responsible for myself. 

Growing up in a sheltered church-going family shielded me from this realization until now because all of my choices weren't exactly mine. 

So this is it. The journey.

From this point on, I make who I am.

I define which way I go, who I let influence me, 

and how much wisdom I will reach for.

Solomon gave up somewhere in the middle, happy with the distractions of life, country, family, and lost sight of wisdom.

Lost sight of striving to define his doctrine, 

lost sight of refining his mind.

I hope I don't.

So many people I find grow up- grow old- distracted with living without taking the time to know themselves. What stops us from asking the hard questions to ourselves and having a long ponder? Why is it so easy to be content with mindless media and technology? These people raise families yet remain young. Ignorant in under-exercised minds. Are we mistaken that we are all young at heart because we never challenged ourselves to be wise, putting away childish ways of distracted self service? 

I want to be the fullest, wisest, refined person I can be. I want to know my own mind and god and live accordingly. 

I don't want to lose sight by the monotony.

I pray for wisdom. For life.

I don't want to miss the wisdom boat.

-my heart is not afraid